Why now?
I kept waiting for something profound to come to me to serve as my first post to (intentionally) hit the Discover page (ironic given my Bearblog thesis statement below), but it's hard to be profound and even harder to reconcile that something doesn't have to be profound to be put out there.
Putting-something-out-there is a muscle I have not exercised in any meaningful way beyond throwing together (frankly underrated) Letterboxd lists, and I frankly wonder why. Moreover, why now? Why not then?
It's easy (and honestly really tempting) to blame it on the state of today's internet, culture, and the apathetic lull that algorithms induce. I'll happily file much of that under why now (and I'm certain I'm not alone in that), but I'll also optimistically add: why now? Because I'm ready now.
I know I've often been paralysed by perfectionism, and honestly even paralysed by the promise of paralysis of perfection; "it won't be what I envision it being, so why do it at all". It sounds ridiculous but this has halted even my own wholly personal journaling initiatives - my then.
I don't know if this has softened as a result of just getting older or hitting some sort of breaking point, but either way I'm happy to be here.
This all spawned as a frame to some completely arbitrary goals I set myself aiming to curb time wasted being rage-baited or otherwise brain-drained by algorithms:
- Bearblog and the-like
- learn html and css stuff
- post frequently, creatively, and imperfectly
- Music
- park some podcasts for now
- listen through full albums
- Videogames
- play small, play often
- Movies
- l a s e r d i c s
✌